my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
