Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
