i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
