Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
