You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
