U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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