too bad you live with your parents still
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I love you. Go after that dick
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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