I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
