the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
