So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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