I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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