what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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