you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
