That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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