Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
