His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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