We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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