is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
