I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
