Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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