You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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