I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
