I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The adults are the big ones right?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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