idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
