i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize