I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
