it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He keeps bees of course he's weird
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
