my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
