You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
