If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
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