WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I need help removing her.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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