So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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