yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
