ya dads aren't the best wingmen
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Randomize
