I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
