Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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