don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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