Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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