My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
