is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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