I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize