she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
