Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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