Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
