I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize