Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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