As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
