In the future we'll all be gay
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
