i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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