its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize