dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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