Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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