At least make sure they are 18
Why
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
