i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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