69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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