needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize