I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
