There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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