Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
