You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
