Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
