I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
