I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I can't trust your balls anymore.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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