belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
