Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm at about main and main street
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
